Healing Jane
by JadedLogic
Summary: After Jane is shot Maura is there to look after her. M to be safe. Semi-Slow burn.
1. Chapter 1

"Jane you have dilated blood vessels on you sclera. Are you unable to sleep?" Maura's gaze was far from heated but it still managed to send her stomach somersaulting.

"Well if I could Rip Van Winkle would have some stiff competition." Maura didn't laugh, she tilted her head to the side after giving her a look that said she was considering something.

"I want to try something."

"Panda excrement tea?"Jane drawled.

"No. Though that would be beneficial to your health." She pointedly rose an index finger as she spoke. "I want to try Shiatsu. Its a branch of massage therapy that I've read about in a recent scientific journal."

"As long as its not that weird jam you with needles thing you were doing to Frost."

"Actually, I hadn't thought of that, but acupuncture could help. They are quite similar when you think about. Both techniques stimulate energetic pathways or meridians on the body. In turn, patients experience relaxation, increased blood flow, decreased stress and improved overall wellness..."

"My meridians are perfectly balanced ." Jane mumbled. Maura laughed and patted her arm.

"Okay Jane. "

Maura gently pushed her back onto the bed. They were often close and touchy but she was having a difficult time keeping her breathing steady in their current environment. They were on her bed, and Maura was moving slowly because she was afraid to hurt her. All of this translated to something more intimate, and gave way to a growing desire in the pit of her stomach. Maura just didn't know how attractive she found her, the perfectly manicured hands, her honey blonde curls, and her ability to always look like she was ready to walk down a runway. She didn't know if she could hide it any longer but Maura was never one to pick up social cues so easily.

As Maura knelt behind her on the bed she suddenly got really nervous.

"You sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yes. I'm certified."

"In massage therapy?"

"Yes. I got a perfect score on the N.C.E.T.M.B exam and on the foundations of traditional chinese medicine. I've also been told I have excellent technique by a master in Shiatsu." Maura seemed really defensive and she felt the need to ease the MEs disposition.

"Allright I wasn't busting you I was just asking."

"Oh." Maura gave a small smile and carried on. "Now the key to this is to be relaxed. Just close your eyes and focus on breathing. Empty your mind." She did and Maura's hands gently pressed against her temples. "If anything feels uncomfortable just let me know. "

 _Too late_ she thought she could already feel her pulse quickening from Maura's touch. _Why did I agree to this? Because you like it and it makes Maura happy._ Maura leaned in a little closer and she could feel her hair just barely tickling her face, it smelt like lilacs.

"Maura." She grumbled. It jolted her out of her state of concentration. The ME blinked and surveyed the situation in confusion but didn't see anything wrong. "Your hair keeps touching my face."

Maura apologized and quickly pulled it back with a hair tie she kept in her coat pocket. When her hands resumed she found herself being drawn into an almost dreamlike state. Each press of her fingers, extracted a tension she didn't know she had and soon her thoughts moved away from being inappropriate, they just simply stopped.

However, now it was Maura's turn to think this way. Feeling Jane's bone structure and soft skin made her realize how exquisite she actually was. Very attractive indeed. She found herself studying the features of her face, the small upward slant of the supercilium just above the superior edges to her occipital orbit, her perfectly oval shaped zygoma, and even the fullness of her lower lip.

As she stared at those lips she felt her medial insula triggering an adrenaline reaction in her sympathetic nervous system (butterflies in her stomach). Why was her body reacting this way? There was certainly no danger nearby and Jane didn't make her nervous. Yet the thought of being so close to those lips did. How would they feel against her own? Jane let out a small sigh of content and the feeling intensified. _Focus Maura. Firm pressure to the temporomandibular joint for 15 more seconds._ The time passed excruciatingly slow but she completed the relaxation of the pressure point and removed her hands. She hated to break the silence but she didn't know how well Jane would handle her touching just below her collarbone, especially being so close to her breasts.

"Jane can I touch your k27 acupressure points?" Her voice sounded breathy because it was somehow difficult to utter the words, being so close to Jane.

"My what?" Jane's eyes slowly drifted open, there was a small smile in the chestnut pools.

"The master Yu-point point just below your collarbone it's helpful with many chest related tensions and for balancing the functions of your body."

"My boobs?"

"What! No Jane…" She blushed despite her inner protest. "Its just above your first rib I won't be anywhere near your breasts. I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable with me touching you there."

"Hmmm sure…" Jane close her eyes and smiled. "You can touch my boobs." Her face went aflame but she knew Jane was just joking with her.

She could be so difficult at times and she would be lying if she said she wasn't tempted to take her up on that offer. She really did have an above average amount of adipose tissue near her mammary glands… No stop it. Jane isn't one of your cadavers!

Taking a calming breath she found the pressure points and gradually started pressing into it. Jane gave a throaty moan and she briefly paused, worried she had accidentally hurt her but the look of relaxation on her face said otherwise. This was working, soon enough Jane's cortisol levels would be low enough to allow for sleep. She gently kneaded the area with her palm, careful not to venture too low and touch the breasts she knew were a few inches away.

Half an hour had past and they had managed to fall into a comfortable, relaxed silence. Jane's slow deep breaths indicated her deep state of relaxation and she herself found the act of massaging just as relaxing. When she felt there were no further acupressure points that would help Jane's insomnia she stopped. A crick was forming in her neck and the bed wasn't really a suitable place for her to properly move around.

Jane lazily opened her eyes.

"Thanks Maur..."

She smiled. When Jane didn't joke she found her to be the most sincere and these moments really spoke to her.

"You're welcome." She cleared her throat and stood. "Now I'm going to go get us some water." Jane nodded at her.

Getting the water would allow her a moment to process her feelings. Something in their relationship had changed when she saw Jane laying there. Now her brain was trying to tell her something, and she was starting to understand. She desired Jane Rizzoli.

Jane drank the water in several big gulps. Making a dramatic show of it too ending it with a big _ahhh._

"Good ol' h20." Jane did a sideways jig of her fist as though she were in a hoedown.

"What are you doing?" Despite her best not to she laughed at Jane's goofiness.

"Well ya see around these parts water be slim. Ma'am. Its good to get re-hydraaated every once n' awhile." Jane spoke in a southern accent.

"Jane I think you're suffering from dissociate identity disorder. "

"Its Wild Jane."

"And you say I'm weird." Jane smiled, and patted the empty bed beside her. She really should let Jane rest but she really wanted to lay down in a bed. Jane's couch was horribly uncomfortable and she missed her therapeutic pillow.

"You can sleep here if you want. I know the couch is like a giant loaf of bread and I don't mind."

"That simile really makes no sense but I agree the polyester fabric is somewhat scratchy, and the cushions could be more plush. "

"Do you always have to do that?" Jane grumbled.

"Do what?"

"That thing you do with words..."

"Etymology?" A moment of silence passed before Jane spoke again.

"You just can't help yourself can you..."

She got underneath the covers.

"Nope."

Jane lightly kicked her so she tapped her back. She clearly hadn't been expecting a blow back as she raised an eyebrow at her with a look of pure disbelief. Jane grinned and reached for her pillow.

"Jane. No. That's not a good idea." Jane considered her words but deemed hitting her the more viable of options. Maura blocked her face as the pillow came lightly crashing down on her. Jane's breath hitched and the situation quickly went from fun and playful, to serious and worried.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"I to-"

"Don't say it."

"Did you rip a stitching?"

"No."

"How can you be sure? Let me take a look. I should have really taken a look earlier to see if there are any signs of infection." Jane didn't say anything. "I'm not going to judge Jane. Really. Besides...I already saw them and the day you got shot... It was worse then."

"Maura." she started. "If I let you look. Promise me you won't try to patronize me."

"I promise."

"And I'll know because of the hives!" Jane sat up and she did the same. She knew this was taking a lot of willpower for Jane to do this.

"I'll be quick." Jane nodded somberly and slowly lifted up the hem of her tank top. Once the shirt was removed she did her best not to giveaway any sort of facial reaction. That would surely drive Jane away. Her skin was bruised, and the skin around the stitches were an angry red.

"There's minimal swelling..." she murmured reaching out a hand to touch the stitches across her stomach. Jane flinched at the contact but allowed her to continue. "Abdominals are okay." She felt Jane shy away the moment her eyes landed on a different scar.

"Upper pectorals are uh." Her brain stopped working at seeing a different area of scarring. It looked like she had been through worse than the current stitches on her stomach. Jane noticed her lack of a response and reached for her shirt.

"God Maura I told you!"

"No Jane I wasn't..."

Jane's shoulders slumped down and a single tear ran down her cheek. It was like that one tear carried a life's worth of pain and heartbreak. That's what perhaps struck Maura the hardest. Jane was a fighter and seeing her cry like this tugged at her heartstrings. PTSD was her first diagnosis. It was a normal psychological response and very likely given Jane's situation but it was more than that.

"I didn't want you to see it."

She didn't have to ask what it was.

"Jane I'm not sure what kind of a person you think I am but I am not someone to be ashamed of scars. We all have them."

Jane stared vacantly at spot between them on the bed. She looked torn between running away and crying.

"I have a scar below my left breast from when I was apart of my colleges Equestrian team. Took a fall. Always felt self conscious about it but then I realized it was just a natural part of life. It made me no less of a human being. You are beautiful Jane. There is no need to feel-"

"Maura. I'm not ashamed I just didn't want you to know."

"Why?"

"Because I knew you would ask how it happened."

"And you don't want to tell me?"

There was a long pause.

"I do but it will change your view about me...I'm ashamed of how I got it. Not of it."

She wasn't exactly following Jane's line of logic here but she wasn't going to pressure her into something she was uncomfortable with.

"That's alright Jane. I don't need to know. I just want you to get some sleep now. Your body needs to repair itself."

Jane nodded and it was as if her entire body let out a sigh of relief.

She turned off the lights, pulled back the blankets and resisted the urge to cuddle up against the detective. There were several inches between them, yet they were worlds apart and sleep refused to fall on either of them.

"Maur..." Jane spoke up several minutes into their dark silence. "Thanks for staying over tonight."

"Jane it's your first night back from the hospital I wouldn't want you to be alone."

She turned on her side to look at Jane. It was dark but she could still see the outline of her face.

"I can't sleep."

"Are you in pain?"

"No."

"Didn't the Shiatsu help?" The frown she felt managed to make it into her question.

"It helped me relax yeah but I _can't_ sleep."

"I'm sorry Jane but I don't think I can help you with that anymore than I have."

"What? No. I wasn't suggesting anything. I'm just saying..."

"So am I."

Through the dark she thought she saw Jane's lips twitch.

"one...two..."

"What are you doing?"

"Counting sheep."

"What sheep?"

"Maura! God. Have you really never heard of counting sheep to fall asleep?"

"No. I haven't." For some reason her answer hurt this time. Jane's exclamation had been innocent but there were only so many times she could withstand the blows to her ego. She rolled away from Jane, her back to her and stared across the room at Jane's wall.

She felt the bed shift beside her as Jane was undoubtedly looking at her now. Jane's hand gently fell onto her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." There was a tiny squeeze to her shoulder.

"Apology accepted..." She swallowed down a lump that was forming in her throat. Being at odds with Jane always upset her, even something as little as this.

"And I'm sorry for shooting myself." That sentence stopped her breath. "I thought that both you and Frankie were-" Jane's voice broke causing her to turn back to Jane. They were much closer than they had started off but neither of them were opposed to the warmth of being near one another. "I thought he killed you. The only thing going through my mind was shoot the bastard. Make him pay."

"Although I don't agree with your methods it was a job well done Jane. You saved a lot of lives." She reached for Jane's hand in the dark, gripping onto it firmly. Not many people go to touch Jane's hands. The fact that she let her do so easily made her heart flutter.

Jane's thumb lightly ran over the back of her hand and her chest continued to constrict. Neither of them were going to get any sleep like this. Yet, she didn't seem to care.

"I'm using my vacation time to look after you."

"What? Maura no..."

"It's already been taken care of." A sigh left the detective and her hand was suddenly being pulled away. "Jane?"

"Can we just get some sleep now?" Jane sounded perturbed.

"Yes..." She worried her bottom lip and turned away from the detective once more. Her emotions were all over the place since the accident and no matter how hard she tried to get a handle on them they always ran away from her.


	2. Chapter 2

Jane was up early. Far too early to have gotten a good night's rest but so was she.

"Jane it's recommended you get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and you should be laying down!"

"Don't need it, don't want too..."She grumbled.

Jane was hunched over her counter resting her head on her hand while the other nursed a cup of coffee. Her hair dropped around her but she didn't need to see the blood shot eyes to know how tired she was.

"What was it this time?"

She slid into the chair beside her and rested a reassuring hand upon her shoulder. Jane groaned and moved away from her hand.

"Maur…" she whined. "It's too early. I just want coffee."

"I'm sorry Jane I just want to help."

"Then let me drink my coffee…."

"Fine." Her response was short and clipped. Jane was always grumpy first thing in the morning but today she was miffed by it. She was only trying to help!

"I'll be in the living room if you need me..."

"Kay…" Jane didn't even lift her head.

She sat ion Jane's couch intending on reading one the books she brought along with her but continued to worry about Jane.

Why wouldn't Jane talk to her. Obviously there was something bothering her. Perhaps she was suffering from some sort of stress induced misanthropy. No that didn't sound right…She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. What she need right now was a nice cup of green tea. Surely Jane had that?

She started the kettle when she heard a thump coming from Jane's room.

"Jane?"

"Christ Maura!"

Jane nearly tripped over herself as she yanked down the shirt she had been putting on.

"Sorry!"

Despite her best attempts she still blushed. Jane grumbled something and dropped down onto her bed.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"No I wasn't hungry."

"Well you have to eat something."

She could see the protest forming from the detective but one look let her know that wasn't an option.

"Fine."

Minutes later they were in the kitchen and she was setting a warm bowl in front of Jane.

"Maura what is this?"

"It's quinoa with milk, cinnamon and apples. It's like oatmeal but better. You'd be surprised."

She smiled at Jane and sat beside her.

"Why didn't you just make oatmeal? And when did I get quinoa?"

"You're out of oatmeal…And I left a box in your pantry from the last time we went shopping together. You never even opened it. Quinoa is the only grain that's a complete protein you'll need it for your recovery-"

"Stop." Jane suddenly growled.

"I'm sorry?" She tried to keep the hurt from her voice.

"You're smothering me more than my mother! I don't need your coddling or your constant reminders of my condition!"

"But Jane I care about you and I hate to see you impeding your own healing-"

"See there you go again!"

Jane pushed off her seat far too fast for what was recommended for her injury and tried to storm off. She wasn't going to let her. Not this time.

"Jane Rizzoli!" she snapped. "You are not leaving until we talk about this. "

She grabbed Jane's arm and was met with an alarmed expression.

"Now let's go and sit down."

Jane looked down at the hand still gripping tightly onto her. She never recalled ever being so rough with the brunette and immediately released her.

"I'm sorry for grabbing you like that…but I'm feeling so closed off right now Jane. Why won't you talk to me?"

Jane's eyes softened and she dropped her head.

"Maur…..I don't know how too."

She was touching Jane's arm again but this time to guide her to the couch in the room over. Jane let her but she could not celebrate the victory just get.

"Would it help if I started?"

Jane nodded and they took a seat, her hand moving to hold Jane's.

"You've been very unkind to me Jane and I've been rationalizing it so that my conscious is willing to forgive you for that but I'm afraid there's only so much my brain will pass over. I just want to know why? Is it me? Have I done something to hurt you? You know how I am with social cues -"

"No Maura it's not you…I'm not trying to hurt you I promise. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed right now."

"That's perfectly understandable and I want to help you with that. What's got you so agitated?"

Jane shifted uncomfortably, she looked to their hands, the wall, the floor anywhere to avoid her searching gaze.

"Please Jane…" she gently massaged the back of her hand with her thumb. Jane's eyes filled with tears and from the looks of it they were long overdue.

"Oh Jane…" She pulled her into her arms still staying conscious of her injury and held her friend. "Oh honey." Jane gripped onto the back of her shirt, wrinkling the finely pressed material but twisting her heart even more. "What's wrong?"

"Me. I'm what's wrong." she said into her shoulder.

"No. That's not true."

"You don't understand Maura." More tears soaked into her shirt but it didn't matter.

"I'm trying to but you aren't saying anything."

Jane wasn't going to say anymore to her, no matter how hard she pried her for answers. Whatever this was Jane wanted to deal with it on her own but she would be there when she was ready to talk.

Jane's tears slowed in her arms. They came to a stop altogether after a minute or two. Jane pulled back, wiping at her eyes with an ashamed expression. Jane didn't need to be embarrassed by her tears. They all cried. It was an involuntary reaction triggered by-

"Maura I'll eat the quinoa."

She laughed. Of all the things for Jane to say in this moment she chose that.

"Come on then, it's getting cold." She smiled fondly at Jane but Jane never returned the smile.

The brunette walked into the kitchen like she had been put on death row. Jane ate wordlessly, which was abnormal behavior for the brunette, but she ate the bowl down to the last spoonful.

"I take it, it wasn't as bad as you imagined?"

Jane picked up the bowl and put it in her sink, shrugging with her question.

"It wasn't terrible."

Jane moved into the living room, picking up the remote to her TV.

She didn't feel that her company was wanted any longer so she left Jane to herself, heading outside for some fresh air. She would use the alone time to reflect.


End file.
